It never completely goes away

I just got back from a quick trip to Portland. I rode the light rail from the airport to the friend's house where I was staying. As I sat there, looking out the window, I realized that I was calculating whether the places I passed would be suitable as a place to live if I was on the streets. Were they concealed enough to allow me to camp there without being noticed?

Along the rail tracks is a commercial district with overgrown greenery, perfect type of camping spot that I used to look for.

It's been over 14 years since I lived outdoors and I still check out my surroundings to see if there is a place to sleep where I would be safe if I didn't have a home to return to.

I was walking back to the MAX in the rain and was stopped by a couple who were pretty wet and asking for help to get a ticket to get to a friend's house and out of the weather. I had a five and gave it to them - the story doesn't matter - I had it and was willing to give it, so I did. They were very grateful. I told them that I had been homeless for 8 years and hoped that they were someday able to make the change for themselves that I had made for myself.

There's always hope, even if I still scan for a safe place to sleep.